Eating an Artichoke by Fling Echo; Attwood Tony;

Author:Fling, Echo; Attwood, Tony; [R. Fling, Echo]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers

11

Light at the End of the Tunnel

With my frustration level at an all-time high, I called and scheduled an appointment with our new primary care physician. Would I find answers with this new doctor? Or simply more confusion? Jimmy was nearly ten years old now. None of the labels the doctors, psychologists and education professionals had given us up to that point included all the problematic behaviors that Jimmy had. The auditory processing disability only addressed Jimmy’s problems with language. The ADD label only concerned the attention problems. What about the rest of the issues? Wasn’t there a definitive diagnosis out there that encompassed all the areas where Jimmy was experiencing difficulties? What about the obsessions, the rigidity, the constant anxiousness, the getting lost in his own school, the lack of friends?

On the day of Jimmy’s appointment with the new doctor, I reluctantly told him where we were going only a few hours before the scheduled arrival time. Over the course of the last two years, Jimmy had become increasingly fearful and agitated when he had to go to the doctor’s office. He would lose sleep, and fret obsessively over what was going to happen. I had learned that it was just better to give him information about upcoming appointments on a need-to-know basis. I could never figure out the reason for this behavior. Only years later did I learn from Jimmy that the reason he becomes so agitated with doctor visits is because of his extreme fear of the unknown. Jimmy is a boy who needs to know exactly what is going to happen in any given situation. I just didn’t know how great a need this was at the time. When he found out about the appointment with the new doctor, his reaction was exactly what I expected. Jimmy immediately became very agitated. His skin first became mottled, he started hyperventilating and then he dissolved into tears. ‘But Mom, I’m not sick! I don’t need to go to see Dr. A.’

I caught myself short. He was not going to see his regular doctor. This new doctor would be a stranger. My stomach sank. ‘You are not going to see Dr. A. today,’ I said. ‘We have a new doctor now. We are going to meet her and she will give you a regular check-up.’

Jimmy disappeared into his room. I gave him the space to digest the news. Meanwhile, I still had to make sure Caroline got out the door and to her school on time. I made myself busy packing her books and papers, getting her lunch pail ready, and straightening her pony tail. I hurried her through the before-school preparations because I knew the ritual of questions would soon come from Jimmy.

‘What is going to happen at the doctor’s office?’ Jimmy sobbed. His face now a lovely shade of pastel green, reminiscent of bleached out surgical scrubs. He was on the verge of bringing up his breakfast. There was a look of terror in his eyes.

I ran

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